Couples Counseling

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How do we find our way back to the love that we once had?


Asking this question is a great start. Often the first step is in acknowledging the difficult and vulnerable place where your marriage is today. It can be a hard step, but an essential one towards healing and restoration. 

Likely, each of you have opinions about what is causing your difficulties and how these should be addressed and who should be addressing what!  Most often these opinions form the basis of an endless cycle of blame and withdrawal that perhaps even prevents you from agreeing to seek therapy.  It will probably come as a relief to know that our unique approach to marriage therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy, is non-pathological. This is fancy term to say that we do NOT place the blame for the marital difficulties on either partner. EFT research has shown that couples get into very predictable cyclical patterns that perpetuate blame and withdrawal.  We join with you to help you identify these patterns and de-energize these cycles and establish a new dance of intimacy, love and support. We have good news for you – this cycle is the enemy – not your partner!

After acknowledging the need, the next step is in finding a good marriage counselor who is a good fit with you and who is offering a proven approach to marital therapy. At Marler Counseling, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is what we use. EFT is a proven therapeutic approach with 30 years of outcome based research showing its efficacy at helping couples restore the love of their marriage in such a way that has been shown to last long after therapy ends. New patterns of relating established through EFT have been shown to still be present years after the therapy is finished. To explore the fit, give us a call to schedule a session. 

But, are we too far gone? It feels like all the love, safety and spark that once existed are gone.

When destructive cycles take on a life of their own and are perpetuated day-after-day, year-after-year the emotional toll can be huge and it can feel like that original spark is irrecoverable.

In Emotionally Focused Therapy, after we have helped you disarm these destructive cycles, you begin to feel empowered as a couple and safety returns to the relationship. With safety and teamwork restored a whole new vista of possibilities emerges – including the possibility of not only getting that spark back but also establishing a secure depth to the relationship that perhaps never existed. Give us a call today to schedule a session. That is the first step to regaining that spark.

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We know it can be daunting and even frustrating finding the right counselor to walk with you through tough times. We want to make it as easy as possible for you!

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