Does it feel like your conversations often end up in the same endless cycle?
Even though the topic is different, does it feel like the interaction pattern and knee-jerk reactions are still the same old pattern and the end result is an escalation to the point of angry words and/or withdrawn distance?
I work with couples that are caught in this dance - a dance that they don’t seem in control of – a dance that seems to run and block their attempts to meaningfully connect. I help them de-escalate this damaging cycle and establish a healthier and safer atmosphere. The good news is that it is not one’s partner that is the enemy in this dance, it is the dance itself – a pattern of triggered responses – that is the actual enemy. Couples typically feel very empowered as they join together to combat this common enemy and render it powerless.
After this destructive pattern has been de-energized, I then work with the couple to build a loving bond with roots that go down into deep emotional places – a place where safety and empathy allow fears and vulnerabilities to be shared and support to be received. These roots are at the core of what makes couples that have gone through Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) resilient. Years after therapy, research has shown that the majority of couples have retained the benefits of EFT therapy – those close deep intimate bonds that make communication take on a whole new form. In fact from research it has been empirically shown that couples had improved relationship satisfaction 2–3 years following treatment (Cloutier, Manion, Walker, & Johnson, 2002; Halchuk, Makinen, & Johnson, 2010; Wiebe et al., in press)